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[changeyourself]

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@vesting

[changeyourself]

From here

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First of all, calling food bad without eating it should be crime.

Secondly, I never have a bad meal after a long day because I learned to cook to avoid that fate. This is why you can trust me when I say chocolate chicken curry is delicious.

[vesting]

Dramatic

You understand why I cannot trust you, yes? You were a gun when I met you. Why would I listen to a gun man?

[ she is 100% fucking with him but she's willing to take this bit as far as it can go. ]

[changeyourself]

Food is important.

[ This is why he likes her. Mutual messing is much more fun than his usual manner of just being a freak AT people. Food is one of his few weak spots. ]

Are you kidding? A gun man is obviously trustworthy. They're straight shooters.

[vesting]

[ he can't see it, but yelena makes a look of disgust at his joke. terrible. take a lap. ]

A gun does not have a stomach or taste buds. It eats only bullets and then spits them out.

[changeyourself]

[ He can't see it. But he knows. ]

You realise I am not always a gun. I have also been a catfish, which had more tastebuds than you've had meals.

[vesting]

And how do I know you are not a gun pretending to be a man? Chicken and chocolate? Sounds like something a gun would think sounds good.

[changeyourself]

Nah, not CHOCOLATe chicken for guns. Guns like Bang Bang Chicken.

[vesting]

Sometimes I have no idea what you're talking about

[changeyourself]

Have you not heard of Bang Bang Chicken? I can understand the chocolate chicken but c’mon. What DO you eat? I'm going to have to feed you properly.

i missed this somewhere! so sorry

[vesting]

I spent a lot of my life eating rations
Forgive me for not knowing your weird chickens

NP!

[changeyourself]

See, to me, that's more of a reason to try every kind of food out there.

Okay. I'm making you dinner.

[vesting]

When you have unlimited choice it becomes overwhelming

Also, I might be a picky eater. We'll have to see what you make

[changeyourself]

You think? I hate when I don't have options. It gives me a headache.

[ He's not entirely sure if that's his natural thoughts or if his mind has been altered to love variety. It's not uncommon for Moonlit to have mental changes to go with their powers. ]

I promise if you don't like it, I'll pay for take out.

[vesting]

i never had an option and now I have many

[ she's spent her whole life being told what to do and now she has an endless choice. it's a lot. ]

Ok I will agree with this

[changeyourself]

For now, leave the choosing to me. You're a rookie of meals. What's something you do like? I'll use that to form some ideas.

[ People should eat well. It's a strong belief of his, after suffering starvation. ]

[vesting]

🙄 Whatever

I like steak and potato and pastas but not with the white sauces. I like many things, but sometimes I don't like when there is an ingredient that doesn't belong.

[changeyourself]

Okay... beef wellington and dauphinoise. I haven't done dauphinoise in a while, it'll be fun for me.

You free to come by my place?

[vesting]

What the hell is dolphinnoise?

Yeah in like 2 hours probably I have
Something I need to do

[changeyourself]

It’s 🐬 EE-EEEE-EE-EEE 🐬 But that's not important right now.

[ He couldn't resist. ]

It’s not eating a bunch of other stuff so you have an excuse not to eat my food, is it?

[vesting]

I don't know what else I expected from you

[ she brought this on herself tbh. she's not surprised, just disappointed in both of them. ]

Oh my god, you are so needy no I'm not
I have a job and then I will be there

[changeyourself]

hehehe

[ Their ability to mess with one another is unparalleled. ]

’kay.

Don’t die. Work up an appetite.

[vesting]

No promises, dying comes with the territory

[ pause. ]

No I am not going to die to avoid your food 🙄

[changeyourself]

I didn't think you would! 🤨 until now…


hmmmm


But okay. I will start cooking. If you fake your death, I will find you. If you die, I will avenge you.

[vesting]

There are so many worse things you put me through, I would not waste faking my death on this 🙄

[changeyourself]

Haha, you tolerate me!

[ She likes him. He’s certain of it. Once he gets her hooked on his good cooking, it’s all over. She’ll be telling servers he ordered mashed potatoes in no time. ]

Tell me when you're done. Or send me your last words.