[ Yamada lets out a small sigh of relief, now they're back in his apartment. His small, mostly empty apartment. He hasn't put much personality in it, it’s just a place to eat and sleep. Aside from a cute little yellow toybox in one corner, the toys are not his! He swears!
Yamada flops over onto his back, holding Jeff up in two hands. ]
Jeff, if the dark lord comes to my apartment I will be very annoyed and you will get no churros.
[ His heart is pounding- that big scary head was in the top 10 most fear inducing experiences of his weird life. ]
[ Illyana plops herself down unceremoniously with a sigh herself. Meanwhile Jeff allows this holding because it's attention of some kind and he is in fact fueled by attention. Although he does whimper a tiny bit at that threat...
Which causes Illyana to turn her head to both of them. ]
Look you made him sad! Don't worry, Jeff. If he comes here I'll just take us all to Limbo and kick his ass there.
[ Yamada keeps Jeff held up at arm’s length, tilting him this way and that. Airplane!
He turns his head to Illyana with his deadpan expression, eyebrow raised. ]
And if he comes here and just stays after we go to limbo? I have a Doroomammate forever?
[ It was worth it to make that pun, he thinks. Except not really, they might die. Oh well. There’s a crack in his poker face with the corner of his lips rising, ever so slightly. The whole experience has thrilled him, and he’s happy she took him. ]
[ He nasty little smile makes him snort in amusement. She’s such a strange mix of sweet and sinister, and both interest him. His lonely little boring word of a decade is widening and he’ll accept what comes his way. ]
Not when I move in with you, making meyour problem.
[ He tucks Jeff under one arm, a funky little football, and leans over to give her a quick knock on the shoulder. ]
Thanks for giving me a problem. Not bored anymore.
I'd move to Limbo permanently to escape you. Then you'd have a new problem: my brother being mad at you.
[ Nobody wants her brother mad at them for scaring her away! Would she actually let her brother believe she was scared off by Yamada invading her space? Of course. She'd do it and not even blink.
Jeff doesn't seem to mind being a football, maybe because he's just grateful he got a rescue at all. A fact that Illyana would find very insulting. How could Jeff think she would just leave Bamfy there?
Him there.
But she is currently holding on to her little doll. Grins at the bump. ]
Next time we'll go to Limbo. You won't be bored there either.
[ Yamada tends to underestimate people whose power is turning into one thing. Yamada can turn into a big metal guy! He can turn into a big metal t.rex! He can turn into a big wave of salt water, take that, metal man! Get rusted! Of course, she's seen his lack of training and experience means he can't use his abilities anywhere near their fullest. There's a good chance he'd make a poor choice and get flattened. He's got a whole protagonist's journey ahead of him before he's half as badass as he thinks he is.
He kicks his legs up and performs an acrobatic flip to his feet, and drops Jeff on Illyana for a height enough to be annoying but not harmful to either of the weird cuties and goes over to his kitchen. The open plan of his apartment has it overlook the living room. The kitchen has much more in it- he loves cooking. As he walks, he performs a funky arm waving motion, and somehow it translates to him suddenly having six arms, a chef asura that gets to work preparing for the churros. He has to shout over the clattering. ]
Besides, nobody would feed you like me if you hide in Limbo! It would be me and your brother eating well while you sulk with your demons, who I bet can't even make a ganache!
I would rip your soul out piece by piece if you hurt him.
[ Said completely calmly and with a bright smile. Does she mean it? Or is it an empty threat and a joke? A tiny warning? Her brother can more than take care of himself but she does have substantial loyalty to him.
Plus she may just like messing with people sometimes. See how they react with the things she says. Maybe it's a part of how she tries to figure out how people work and how to work herself as a real girl now. Instinctively Illyana reaches up to catch Jeff then sets him down to go free. He will now go to work trying to watch a multiarmed guy make churros. ]
[ Yamada gives her a wry smile that silently says he could take her, too. Or at least isn’t concerned she’d go that extreme for a scuffle.
If he believes it, well, he likes to mess with people too. ]
Yeah, you don't have to because if you're very nice and ask politely I will do it for you. [ He says matter of factly. He’s got everything needed set out, and the arms move in a hypnotic dance as they set to work. Making the mix, the dusting coating, glugging out the oil. ] But if you're extremely nice I can teach you, if you like.
[ After a final flash of her best menacing smile she just shrugs. Just like flipping a switch she's got a much less menacing normal looking expression on her face. ]
You would? What if I wanted it on a milkshake? [ If she asked really nicely would he make her a special ganache milkshake??? These are the important questions out there. She's also slowly strutting over to watch what he's doing. Maybe she's curious. ]
[ Either look is fine for him- he might morph one of those ‘sorry, I only date girls who stab me’ shirts to see if she shanks him. Stabs are the easiest fixes.
Only. If. You're. Nice. [ He emphasises, his eyes moving from pair to pair to pair of hands, quick glimpses at Jeff and Illyana. Then dusting and dipping sauce are already done- he’s squeezing the batter into a piping bag. It spares a hand to wag a finger. ] To me. When you're a wicked little imp to others, I’ll probably join in.
[ I mean, he joins in when she’s mean to him too, and hopes she never stops entirely. ]
[ Don't push her too much, she might see what happens when he's stabbed with a soulsword. Does it just go through?? Does it hurt??? Who knows. The world is a mystery. ]
Nice is boring. [ And also not her job! Piotr is the nice sibling not her. ] I find it insulting to be compared to an imp. It's rude, right Jeff? [ Yeah he doesn't care, he's focused too much on watching the magic of cooking happen. Traitor. ]
[ He has much experimenting to do! A little stabbing never hurt no body! ]
Nothing is boring if it’s new. [ Now he’s ready to start squeezing the batter out, he has four spare hands. He holds out a spoon used to mix the dipping sauce and another used to crush and mix the dusting. Observers get to lick the spoons but he lets Jeff pick first. Because he is a good guy. ] And besides, you're cute when you're nice.
[ Jeff treats this like the decision of the century and Illyana nudges him to urge him on. Which he hmphs about. Whatever Jeff. Pick faster, she's got a lost childhood to make to for by eating unhealthy things.
Jeff finally chooses the dusting and scampers off to enjoy it away from her. Does he suspect she might try to trade or steal? Rude.
But she takes what's left and licks it without abandon. Gotta enjoy things when the chance comes. ]
[ Yamada watches Jeff skedaddle off with the spoon, smiling at the scene despite being pretty sure he ain't getting that spoon back. Or if he does, it’ll be pretty chewed up.
He turns back to Illyana, one hand giving a ‘no no’ finger wag, while he turns another into metal and dips a finger into the oil. Satisfied with the temperature, it’s sizzle time! He squeezes the first churro into the oil and PSSSFT crickcrickcrick. Such a satisfying sound. ]
I have. [ He pauses, scratching his chin with a spare hand. ] Not to me, admittedly.
Continuing to lick she shuffles over to watch the churro go in. Yes, getting closer to the end results. To what she's been waiting for. What she clearly deserves that Jeff cruelly stole from her!!! ]
[ Yamada just points at Jeff. She cannot deny she treats him like the baby he is, or at least her version. Well, she can, but his knowing smile makes it clear that’s pointless. It was extremely cute and wholesome and made him want to give her a pat on the head. ]
[ She can and she will in fact deny this. ] I was just trying to get my churros and Bamfy back. That he viciously stole! [ She tosses a look towards Jeff. Viciously! ]
I will! [ So there! She definitely doesn't sound like a kid right there for just a moment. Very mature Queen and adult. But she does look over at Jeff, who looks up with big giant landshark eyes. ]
You viciously stole my Bamfy. Vicious.
[ And now Jeff looks a little bit sad and is shaking his head because he didn't do that!! ]
I think that's more of a description of events than meanness.
[ But because Yamada is a big softy really, he pulls the first churro out with his metal hand, and rolls it in the dusting and tosses it artfully to Jeff. No sadness with churros. ]
[ At that Jeff jumps up and then looks over at Yamada like he was just kicked. Beaten. Destroyed. Shot through the heart. He falls over and puts his flippers to his heart. ]
Look at what you just did! He thinks you meant it
*slams hands on desk* nooo i should have said churrge
[ He doesn't. He’s just messing, but he adds a biting of a churro with a nice crunch as he watches. He wants to see if she’ll comfort Jeff, even a smidge. ]
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Yamada flops over onto his back, holding Jeff up in two hands. ]
Jeff, if the dark lord comes to my apartment I will be very annoyed and you will get no churros.
[ His heart is pounding- that big scary head was in the top 10 most fear inducing experiences of his weird life. ]
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Which causes Illyana to turn her head to both of them. ]
Look you made him sad! Don't worry, Jeff. If he comes here I'll just take us all to Limbo and kick his ass there.
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He turns his head to Illyana with his deadpan expression, eyebrow raised. ]
And if he comes here and just stays after we go to limbo? I have a Doroomammate forever?
[ It was worth it to make that pun, he thinks. Except not really, they might die. Oh well. There’s a crack in his poker face with the corner of his lips rising, ever so slightly. The whole experience has thrilled him, and he’s happy she took him. ]
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[ She grins absolutely wickedly. Way too wickedly. You try having your memories all be of growing up in something akin to hell. It does something. ]
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Not when I move in with you, making me your problem.
[ He tucks Jeff under one arm, a funky little football, and leans over to give her a quick knock on the shoulder. ]
Thanks for giving me a problem. Not bored anymore.
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[ Nobody wants her brother mad at them for scaring her away! Would she actually let her brother believe she was scared off by Yamada invading her space? Of course. She'd do it and not even blink.
Jeff doesn't seem to mind being a football, maybe because he's just grateful he got a rescue at all. A fact that Illyana would find very insulting. How could Jeff think she would just leave Bamfy there?
Him there.
But she is currently holding on to her little doll. Grins at the bump. ]
Next time we'll go to Limbo. You won't be bored there either.
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[ Yamada tends to underestimate people whose power is turning into one thing. Yamada can turn into a big metal guy! He can turn into a big metal t.rex! He can turn into a big wave of salt water, take that, metal man! Get rusted! Of course, she's seen his lack of training and experience means he can't use his abilities anywhere near their fullest. There's a good chance he'd make a poor choice and get flattened. He's got a whole protagonist's journey ahead of him before he's half as badass as he thinks he is.
He kicks his legs up and performs an acrobatic flip to his feet, and drops Jeff on Illyana for a height enough to be annoying but not harmful to either of the weird cuties and goes over to his kitchen. The open plan of his apartment has it overlook the living room. The kitchen has much more in it- he loves cooking. As he walks, he performs a funky arm waving motion, and somehow it translates to him suddenly having six arms, a chef asura that gets to work preparing for the churros. He has to shout over the clattering. ]
Besides, nobody would feed you like me if you hide in Limbo! It would be me and your brother eating well while you sulk with your demons, who I bet can't even make a ganache!
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[ Said completely calmly and with a bright smile. Does she mean it? Or is it an empty threat and a joke? A tiny warning? Her brother can more than take care of himself but she does have substantial loyalty to him.
Plus she may just like messing with people sometimes. See how they react with the things she says. Maybe it's a part of how she tries to figure out how people work and how to work herself as a real girl now. Instinctively Illyana reaches up to catch Jeff then sets him down to go free. He will now go to work trying to watch a multiarmed guy make churros. ]
I can't make ganache either.
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If he believes it, well, he likes to mess with people too. ]
Yeah, you don't have to because if you're very nice and ask politely I will do it for you. [ He says matter of factly. He’s got everything needed set out, and the arms move in a hypnotic dance as they set to work. Making the mix, the dusting coating, glugging out the oil. ] But if you're extremely nice I can teach you, if you like.
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You would? What if I wanted it on a milkshake? [ If she asked really nicely would he make her a special ganache milkshake??? These are the important questions out there. She's also slowly strutting over to watch what he's doing. Maybe she's curious. ]
Only if I'm nice?
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Only. If. You're. Nice. [ He emphasises, his eyes moving from pair to pair to pair of hands, quick glimpses at Jeff and Illyana. Then dusting and dipping sauce are already done- he’s squeezing the batter into a piping bag. It spares a hand to wag a finger. ] To me. When you're a wicked little imp to others, I’ll probably join in.
[ I mean, he joins in when she’s mean to him too, and hopes she never stops entirely. ]
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Nice is boring. [ And also not her job! Piotr is the nice sibling not her. ] I find it insulting to be compared to an imp. It's rude, right Jeff? [ Yeah he doesn't care, he's focused too much on watching the magic of cooking happen. Traitor. ]
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Nothing is boring if it’s new. [ Now he’s ready to start squeezing the batter out, he has four spare hands. He holds out a spoon used to mix the dipping sauce and another used to crush and mix the dusting. Observers get to lick the spoons but he lets Jeff pick first. Because he is a good guy. ] And besides, you're cute when you're nice.
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Jeff finally chooses the dusting and scampers off to enjoy it away from her. Does he suspect she might try to trade or steal? Rude.
But she takes what's left and licks it without abandon. Gotta enjoy things when the chance comes. ]
Lies. You've never seen me nice.
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He turns back to Illyana, one hand giving a ‘no no’ finger wag, while he turns another into metal and dips a finger into the oil. Satisfied with the temperature, it’s sizzle time! He squeezes the first churro into the oil and PSSSFT crickcrickcrick. Such a satisfying sound. ]
I have. [ He pauses, scratching his chin with a spare hand. ] Not to me, admittedly.
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Continuing to lick she shuffles over to watch the churro go in. Yes, getting closer to the end results. To what she's been waiting for. What she clearly deserves that Jeff cruelly stole from her!!! ]
When? Who was I being nice to?
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[ There is absolutely zero ways to interpret that as acceptance of her statement. The insistently pointing hand points even harder. ]
Say something mean to Jeff. Look him in the eyes and say something mean.
[ As he speaks, his metal hand delicately arranges the frying churros as they float in the oil, rolling them to make sure they're even. ]
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You viciously stole my Bamfy. Vicious.
[ And now Jeff looks a little bit sad and is shaking his head because he didn't do that!! ]
Look now you made Jeff sad.
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[ But because Yamada is a big softy really, he pulls the first churro out with his metal hand, and rolls it in the dusting and tosses it artfully to Jeff. No sadness with churros. ]
And that you held back was a type of kindness.
[ He’s just messing with her now. ]
i now want churros ridiculously bad
[ As a manipulation tactic that worked because he just got a churro. the first one too. Jeff is a master. ]
So it must have been mean, not kind.
call that the churraving
[ He says reasonably, and starts to roll out other examples as they are ready, pushing three towards Illyana as he pipes out more. ]
hahaha
Look at what you just did! He thinks you meant it
*slams hands on desk* nooo i should have said churrge
[ He doesn't. He’s just messing, but he adds a biting of a churro with a nice crunch as he watches. He wants to see if she’ll comfort Jeff, even a smidge. ]
missed opportunity right there!!!
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